Hitting publish on my first post really wasn’t difficult. Anyone who knows me can probably vouch for the fact that I’m typically an oversharer. Waiting for the responses though was a little nerve wrecking. I didn’t want people to feel bad about what we were going through, and I definitely didn’t want to be treated differently because of it.

Overall, the responses we’ve received have been overwhelmingly positive. Tons of women have reached out to me to share their own stories of infertility and offer advice and guidance. Others have reached out to me asking questions about our diagnosis and treatment so far. I’m not a medical professional, but I did want to tuck in some basic facts based off the conversations I had after my first post.

  1. Day 1 of your cycle is when you actually start your menstrual cycle.
  2. Many people use basal body temperature (at rest body temperature) to monitor their ovulation. It should rise slightly during this time.
  3. There are at home kits you can buy to monitor your ovulation. I think I pay around $15 for 7 days.
  4. We are being treating in Northwest Arkansas so far. If we decide to try certain methods in the future, I’ll be traveling for those.
  5. Money. We get asked about all the medical bills a lot. When we started all of this at the beginning of the year, we spent quite a bit because of testing and ultrasounds. I would estimate that we spent around $700-$800 in January, but we went into this knowing it was an investment. My doctor is very up front about the cost of anything we try because she knows fertility is not covered under insurance. I refilled my Clomid for $11 today though, so the past couple of months have been easy in that aspect.

Now to catch everyone up to date on our specific situation. We are healthy. We’ve had all the tests done which show that everything should be happening as normal. It’s just not. It’s a relief to know we check out medically, but it’s also frustrating since it’s not happening for us. Jealousy and bitterness take over when I think about it too much, but John has such a positive outlook. I’ve leaned on him a lot through this journey so far, and I’m constantly reminding myself how incredibly lucky I am to be going through this with him.  John Karber’s DNA should not go to waste. He really is the best person I know.

While January was filled with ultrasounds and blood work, February brought hope because we were actually doing something. My doctor decided we would start with 50mg of Clomid for the next few months, and I would monitor at home with ovulation tests. As someone who rarely takes medicine, even over the counter ones, Clomid has been rough.

Basically Clomid is a small, white pill you take early on in your cycle for five days. I choose to take mine at night because it works best with my routine, and I want to minimize the side effects I feel. For example, on day two I get an intense migraine that lasts for about twenty four hours. By day four, I’ve sobbed uncontrollably over something that initially made me laugh. It’s a confusing time, but I feel like the side effects haven’t been too unbearable. (John may disagree though.) I’m just glad to be doing SOMETHING to improve our chances.

April will be our last month of taking Clomid without any further intervention though. It’s a tough situation because you don’t want to be pessimistic and assume it won’t work again, but you also have to prepare for the next step. I think that’s one of the things that makes infertility so hard. You don’t have a lot of time to process or grieve because you’re already writing down future appointments. It’s a proactive process which I can appreciate, but I worry that somewhere among the blood work, pills, and tests there’s a really sad girl who’s too busy to understand the toll it’s taking on her.

I can’t thank you enough if you’ve reached out to me because you’ve allowed me to see such diversity. I’ve heard from girls who got pregnant in round two of taking it, and I’ve heard from those of you who suffered through multiple rounds of IVF. You’ve told me about the heartbreaking miscarriages and the way your relationships were put to the test because of the obsession infertility becomes in your home. Your stories have prepared me for the best and the worst of times, and I’m glad to have them with me as we write our own.

-K

434 Comments

  1. Praying for you guys that this all comes together. You both would be such awesome parents. I know God has a plan and a hand in everything. Sometimes it is so hard to understand or see that plan (believe me I get how hard that can be to see with everything that has happened in our story)
    Just rest your faith with him that what is meant to be will be.

  2. Jeannine Wiley Reply

    You have always been a favorite of mine, and I have truly enjoyed you. As I read your posts about your journey, I realize how precious you are. Kara-bear, you are in my prayers. You are one brave soul to go after that dream and share it without hesitation.

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